Arranged marriages work

They do. Two people come together, with little or no expectation, and make it work. Not out of love or wanting to find love or even because they hate to fail- they do so because they are, in their deepest heart of hearts, terrified of their family.

Oh sure, superficially, it's all oh-I-learnt-to-love-him/her. It is indeed most likely that they even did do just that. But, seriously, why would two strangers actually agree to share a roof, a bed, food, families, pets and money indefinitely, if there wasn't some sort of demon at their heels. It boggles the mind, until you arrive at that moment of enlightenment.

Fear drives them, of course! EUREKA!

And then you would run through the streets, naked, in exuberant happiness, unless you had a family (and if you didn't care about trivial legalities). If you have a family, no running through the streets naked for you, my boy. No running naked at all. There would be minimum expectations and laws and bye-laws and moral codes and value systems and a horde of rules with no loopholes, all for no gain. Why? Because it's your family. And the truth is, you're terrified of them.

The harmless grandparents who watch daytime soaps and find them particularly moving, the aunts who practice reiki and demand a bone-cracking hug whenever you meet them, the uncles who peer at you through their half-moon reading glasses, annoyed at being pulled away from their commodities trading, the parents, who smother you and fuss over you and glare at you (all at the same moment), the siblings, oh god, the siblings, the cousins, who are so much better than you, the nephews and nieces you dandled upon your knee when they were two and not as bossy as they are now- you are scared of them all.

Especially the bug-eyed nephews and neices.

So, when they tell you they want to start looking for a potential spouse, you may initially be as resistant to the idea as molasses to movement. You'll cry, "NO!". You'll say you want more time. You'll say you're not ready. They'll give you time, because you are family, and they too are scared of you, and are scared of what you could possibly do. They'll give you a deadline.

The minute the deadline passes, they'll remind you. They remember, because they're not just your family, they're business people. They're a dedicated search engine.

Like ungreased hinges, you resist and squeak a bit. Then you give in. History tells you it is best to fold, knowing you have been dealt a bad hand, than to hold out thinking you have the beginnings of a pair. History is mostly right.

So you fold. Because you're scared of what they might do when you hold out. And history tells you again that it will be something much worse.

So you get married, and strike out for calmer waters, managing living with a stranger whom you are slowly getting to tolerate... and most often, you succeed. Because you don't want to be burdened with the stigma of failure, especially when your bug-eyed nieces and nephews will find out.

You know for sure they'll torment you for the rest of your life, throwing failure in your face.

This is why arranged mariages work. And will work.

Quod Erat Demonstratum.